busy keeping up with the fast-paced yesterday, today and tomorrow.
inactive online because of the other wonders of internet
prone to sickness, physically, mentally and virtually.
Lethargic. Unwanted. Melancholy. Sappy. Somehow, mind boggling. The fake and the real. Oh, this is just so bad. Pretence. Act. Everything. It bothers, somehow, anyhow. I am the fake, but am i real? I do not think, or know anymore, i say i don't bother, but really, i do, alot. Am i real, is my pretence real? or am i really real? maybe this is not a dream, just a big joke? Laugh, chew my skin off, but all i want is the knowledge, of being self. Maybe i am neither real, nor fake, just unreal. As far as i may go, unreal or not, they don't seem to notice, unreal. real, yet not real enough. I guess.
Anyhow, if you know a place, bliss for thy. Sometimes, it lingers, somewhere, desire for bliss. I just want to be alone, but not really alone, just quiet.
May 21, 2007
♥1:20 AM
i'm his first fan.
May 10, 2007
♥2:42 AM
One moment of unreal, to all this ordeal, ordeal of disguises in action, to keep the bad side unseen. Making me feel feberile from the uncanny heat. How i wish there's a place, where i can rest my head, just a moment of unreal would help. I love sleeping.
May 7, 2007
♥3:12 PM
Maybe, just maybe, too pusillanimous to deal with it, hiding in the cubbyhole the whole day, never leaving from the tenebrous atmosphere of the inside. The wickedness of the other, to much to accept. Imagine, the caricature of the figure, just standing , as i dwindle away. I hear the susurrus of my heartbeat, maybe it's aberrant. These phase of the life, common, it's a reoccurring theme in my mind i guess. The vanity of this selfish life, too much pretence.Once again, i have to say, i abhor cuelity, cruelity against self. I am a hypocrite.
May 6, 2007
♥9:27 PM
Procrastinating, procrastinating. I can't procrastinate anymore, i have to stop. Hard enough to even start doing things that i keep procrastinating. Thanks ira for the word. I abhor cruelity, cruelity towards self. I'm just a hyporcrite.
Sattelite, sattelite, are you stupid? Because i think i made a mess out of myself that's beyond stupidity.
I'm really tired, after today, well i just got home. These past few days, have been mellow and full of my teenage angst. I hate it, i have to say things are just making me loony. People, i thought was suppose to be good because it's part of their job, but they are not even a bit respectful to others, what can you say to these people? To her. She pretend to be responsible but then, weren't even there on the big day to even support me, support us. She love stepping on peoples nerves and it freaks me out sometimes. Usually her words make her seems responsible, but words doesn't mean anything. She assume she doesn't want to embarrass herself, but she already did, not only that, because of her, now i am embarrassed for us, we are embarrased. I hate her. I just hope this will all end.
May 5, 2007
♥12:42 PM
Someday, i wish, i'd wake up into a world filled with my dreams.
May 4, 2007
♥11:18 PM
Embarassed, ditched by untrustful. Consumed by hatred once again. The shame, the shame, shame that brought hatred above all things. The lie that started it all, with the lips of untruly. The hate, the hate, hate will not be gone so easy. Swear to unholy grave, ignorance is bliss. Promise to never forget. The lies, the lies, lies turns into hatred. That's overconsuming but it feels good just to hate, to hate, and just hate.
like a silver bullet through A wall, unfelt, cold. The rules, the heartless. The last dance. she swears on herself. it's a promise she wont break. She will never do it for the lips with black rings. The selfish anxiety. Swear, swear, swear to the last dance. Despise the unholy coldness. It's a promise, she swore.