i didn't attend school, i have no idea what happened, i turned in early, at 2130pm(can you imagine that?) and woke up late, i slept for a good 14 hours. And now my head is slightly light headed. 4-6 is going to have to deal with chemistry test, and i'm here slacking. I reached home yesterday, was at the library studying+laughing with Tedd, Belle and Ira, makan then mandi, then went to sleep shortly after watching tv with my dad, fell asleep on the sofa, and wonder once again, how i woke up on the bed when i slept on the sofa(this was my second time this year, sleeping on the sofa and waking up on the bed).
regarding 280408
Me and ira reached the library first, i was thinking of going home to get a shower or something, but then i thought we were going to be late, so i didn't. We ate in the library, ira ate LJS and i had muffins from Prima Deli. Then waited for how long, i don't quite know, Tedd and Belle came, WE STUDIED! Had to revise Belle on chemistry, which was way easier than this year's topic(which i am going to fail miserably on my chemistry exam tommorow). Screw mid-years, i am going to work extra hard for o levels.
Then there was the cacat-cacat type, haha, we were all cacat-cacat type yesterday. Tedd said Belle was cacat-cacat type, then we all laughed hysterically when Tedd said it was like a horse leg, Tedd tak baik. haha. Then after that, i was part of the cacat-cacat type because of my eyes. Ira too because of her knee, not to forget Tedd, who can move his ear. Then we were all cacat cacat type. haha. we headed to the train for home, Belle had to take the train towards town, she's living with her dad at -iforgotwhere-, poor her, she have to travel so far just for school. sigh, so our train came first, we sat down, and unfortunately, theres this group of 4 SERIOUSLY cacat-cacat type people, one of them was pimple-pimple type, haha, funny, and weird. Me and ira burst out laughing when Tedd said that, i think my stomach was about to burst. the pimple pimple type kept looking at our way, eeh, scary-scary type. The reach home, makan, yada yada.. and you know what happened.
❤Thanks Anis for the post, surely everything will be better for me, and for you too. All this raucus from home and from school will be a challenge for us. May Allah bless us with the strength.
Sometimes i just need to get away from home so much, i refuse to go home so early, reluctant to go home from ira's, or something like that just to be away. I haven't bothered one bit to stop her from reading my texts, but she's all around telling and assuming about what's not, i just feel like breaking my phone and that it never existed, i'm always so casual at home when she starts reading my texts on my phone, i'd ask her to stop reading, and she always say "you're using my phone to call your friend, now i wanna use your phone" what a lame reason. I'm hurt because i use her phone to text when my prepaid's low, she's just reading my phone to intrude on my privacy and i hate that, because it makes me feel like home is no place for privacy. Sometimes i hate home so badly, that i feel like going out, even in the middle on the night. I don't know really, i feel like running so much but i know i can't, i respect her too much to do so. Why she's got this power to make me cry, why she's got this power to make me feel hopeless, why she's got this power to make my guard down, why she's got this power to make me feel dumb, why she's got this power over me, sometimes i just feel powerless- Because she's my mum.
Faddy and siti, or anyone else, add me ameeaz@hotmail.com
Darn, i forgot to save yesterday's post i wrote on microsoft word, i was too lazy to log in and do it here, so i thought of doing it on word and save it and post it here today, but all else fail because unfortunately, i forgot saving it. Oh well.
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It was jolly fun yesterday, I can't remember quite much, but definitely 1000 times better than at Beat Merchants. Is called me Pisang girl, because i brought pisang from home, and he said i was a banana seller. Haha. Tedd sort of mumbled on a part of a song, then he squeezed a name in between some songs, poor tedd. We all went to chill somewhere, i was tired. Sat and talked(about something, i don't remember much either). I massaged Wanteng(again), then Ajid. Then yeah, talked and talk, Follow Belle buy instant noodles and Starbucks, then went home. Sometime waiting for the train, Ddot(i have no idea on spelling his name), once again gave a ticket for next week's gig, he kept doing that, i doubt i can go- MID YEAR EXAMS. Hopefully, i'll be able to. Reached home and yeah, on the phone, talked with Sethy and Tedd and back to Sethy, then Tedd again, then back to Sethy. haha, wanted Peanut to join but i knew he was too sleepy.
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Went out with peanut, went to study, but i did nothing much, just some drawings and managed only one Math question, which was so hard, actually not that hard, just that i was dumb enough because i forgot to bring along my calculator. Proceeded to Mac, i ate fries, that made me full, peanut ate McSpicy, then we ate and talked, told peanut about school and stuff, how school sucked and how everything is getting so hard to talk about, like one wrong word and someone else might get into trouble. I wanted the Soya drink thingy from 7/11, so we went to get it, so we sat down for me to finish it, talked some more and then headed home. Peanut didn't want to be called peanut, but BLEARGH, i still want to call him peanut. Then Peanut and i had to take seperate trains, had to travel all the way home- alone. So yeah, now im here, and blogging. Goodnight Peanut, thanks for accompanying me.
My friend list :
Ira
Feroz
Tedd
Apez
Belle
Shaz
I don't care what people think anymore, i know my rights and i'm just too tired to tolerate anymore bitching and to bitch anymore. I'm just going to zip my mouth and be who i want to be. People might think why these people are in my best friend list rather than the school people, i don't know really, maybe it's all just not working out somehow. Ira, she's there when i need her. Feroz, tedd and Apez, are sweet guys who understands me. Belle, she need's a friend to help and guide her through, and she's sweet. Shaz, just blur girl.
Summary: Ira spilled curry on Shaz's skirt during recess, then after school, Shaz accidentally bird-nested on ira, because i said "shauzi!". haha. it was so funny. Met up with Belle at JE library, was so much fun, we laughed alot. haha. Belle was so sweet today
Jack ran away, i saved him, and he ran away, where's his gratitude? But oh well. Jack was so tiny and cute, sigh, i miss him, i hope he's not squashed somewhere. Jack, where are you? I miss you. sigh(in memories of Jack)
<3Polaroid: Ira, Belle, Amee, Fadd
I want polaroid!
♥my all time favourite song by Secondhand Serenade, the first ever song that i dared, played and sang in front of everyone.
"Awake"
With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.
And you're lying real still,
But your heart beat is fast just like mine.
And the movie's long over,
That's three that have passed, one more's fine.
Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.
I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue,
But I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,
I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival.
And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.
Your breathe, it is dear. So please stay near.
Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.
Say my name. I just want to hear you.
Say my name. So I know it's true.
You're changing me. You're changing me.
You showed me how to live.
So just say. So just say,
That you'll stay awake for me.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything
Thank you so much for the album Feroz, you made me smile today, and i'm sorry if you had to see me tear up, sigh, i'm so sorry for troubling you. Alright, Now i'm listening to the album you gave me [:
i won't be blogging as much, i'm restraining myself from the computer screen. I have heaps of studies and art yet to be covered, and so little time left, i have to get a breather after all this. I'm off to ensconce myself in all my pens, pencils and paints, i have to consummate my targets of flying colours.
So here i go<3
Happy birthday Mira Norris.
Mum's being such a suckass regarding this saturday, i must be home by 9pm? wth, so much for my looking forward.
I miss feroz. I miss Tedd. I miss ira, althought we meet everyday, i just miss her.
I miss conferencing with Ira and Tedd, and i miss getting pinched by coconut monkey stinky poo Feroz. haha, oh what joy. Today i'm a stinky salmon, boy oh boy, so today, you're Mr. Bean, but you're forever the stinky doo. I MISS FEROZ, my best buddy. boo, can't meet till saturday, i'm looking forward to this saturday.
alright cool, what the hell. People say, people come, people go.
Throwing my time away watching criminal minds on ch5, supposed to be off to dreamland. Prolly i'll be tired with Dragonboat later in the afternoon, really looking forward to it[: Super sleepy at this moment keeping my eyes peeled opem just so i can enjoy my favourite crime show. Clueless on what to write since my mind's blocked, making it hard to recall anything interesting that happened today or the day before or anything interesting at all. It's sometime in the midst of someone else's sleep, wasting my time away on Brain rotters, my brain is cooking. Oh well, hitting off to bed soon, off to wondorous beauty sleep.
Oh my, ya Allah ya tuhanku. Please give me the strength to fight away bad desires, the whispers of Syaitans. Please ya Allah ya tuhanku, please, stop me from all the sins, a word from my mouth can make an impact, please ya Allah ya tuhanku, make my words be pure. Ya Allah ya tuhanku, forgive me, ya Allah ya tuhanku, i'm sorry that the Syaitans got the better of me, forgive me god.
Things happen for a reason, but sometimes, for some unforseen circumstances, things just happen, for unexplainable reason. Time passes, it comes and it goes so fast, and i'm not sure how much things have changed, im in my own labrynthine. Oh well, i'm just fine where i'm standing here, up up and away.
Stargazing
alright alright
the mooon and starlight
the sun shine so bright
beyond the twilight
and am deeply in love
infactuated
The sun starts singing
the moon is sleeping
People are dancing
and am deeply in love
The moonlight
The starlight
As our hands held tight
With fireflies
The perfect silent night
Tucked away in ardour
She hums a tune
she feels the moon
Tucked away in ardour
The starlight so bright
As they go gazing
beneath the moonlight
Forever saving, the precious moments
She sung so softly, her breath sang sweetly
She's all so so meekly, she's stupid silly in love.
♥This song is for ira, A&E by goldfrapp.
Awards day, was such fun, i was overly hyper that i laughed even worse than a barbarian. alright, the performance was fortunately done better that the rehearsals. Then i don't remember much, everything was a fuzz(not that i was drunk, just that so much things happened and i'm just lazy to recall all of it, and anyway it was a school event, so yeah). The whole gang was just laughing and all, funny fun, and some even cried because it's like seniors and that'll be the last time we'll be in cca. gosh. im so lazy to write anymore now, so alright, cheerio.
Everything seems absolute glum, can't smile. It's been two straight day's since i was myself, i'm still not myself, i can't evem smile without forcing. what'swrongwithme? I have to force myself to smile for the rehearsal performance, was horrendous, even ana said that it looked fake. I can't help it, i'm just not in my bestest mood for smiles and laughter, couldn't even fall asleep. I think too much, i had to wait 4hours to fall asleep yesterday, i know it isn't good to think too much. I even have to force a smile when i met my friends for drama, i didn't come for school, i wasn't in the mood yet again. It's raining today, even the skies are crying for me.
The sky
The sky is crying
For there are truth people are not seeing
The sky is crying
For drastic changes in each being
The sky is crying
For my heart aches, as i'm kneeling
The sky is crying
As i pray, knowing god is forgiving
hush
All the while i've been changing
Forever trying my best for the better
Never ending evolving
Something so much greater than yesterday
So i lamented and i wailed
silently it pierces through my secrets
nevertheless, it was to no avail
The silent whispers, i send signals
Constantly for some assertion
Fear surrogates in
slowly dismantling the confidence
Overpowered by utter perplexion
Discreetly, it all starts disintergrating
silentiously, it starts backing down
All noise muted immediately
Belle and me, i know it looks absurd but we weren't kissing, were just passing sisha smoke.
This is Tedd, he's going crazy, insane.
Talks to him on the phone occasionally, conference with ira. The three midnight phone buddies. Well the threeof us, we're going to be hogging the phone again tonight
He's one funny mister, he teases but i don't get offended, that's one thing about him that's intriguing, he knows where the line is.
School was such a bummer today, i wasn't in the bestest mood, i was awkwardly quieter. I was reluctant to mingle with my girlfriends, i was just exhausted by whats happening all around. I couldn't take any jokes today, especially from lolu, i was just not in my best to tolerate her. I Feigned a headache and stomach ache just to get my butt home early, well actually i had a headache, but it wasn't that extreme. Well, i managed to bewitch Gregory, and thus, allowing me to head home.
Funny thing happened, slept at 3pm, and woke up sometime around evening, i thought it was around 7AM! i panicked and was wondering why my dad was scolding my brother early in the morning and, wasn't he suppose to be at work already? haha, i ran to the toilet to take my shower(i slept in my parents bedroom), then i realised, MAYBE it wasn't morning, it was the evening. so i went out to see everyone watching tv. How silly of me. so i ate then performed my daily prayers.
amee's still smitten.
who the hell is that guy, and whats going on? maybe my sentiments are wrong, but if it isn't, what the heck are you doing? Didn't expect it from you beauty. That's right, "call me when you reach the company beauty".
am i suppose to say i'm wrong, Shit.
It's really weird how things work out, maybe that is why in the first place i refuse to allow myself to implant in my head, the meaning: guys+girls=Love. I'm reluctant to believe that at this special phase in life, someone might pass by and be my true half. Then when i trully get myself involed in a state of infatuation, i think again, am i going to love him forever, or better to be a individual for now, because all i can think of is- i would wound up getting all heartaches, or giving him the aches myself. Both would end up shattered in the end. Why not just wait for the best and the last, till that day comes, no one should get hurt.
But then my other consience tell me, this is all experience, or that maybe in a chance, he'll be the guy i'll marry, or something cheesy like that. Maybe even, deep inside, he feels the exact same towards me, and he's the one for me, well that's something scary, because if he is, aren't we too young, and if he isn't then i got it all wrong. Sometimes, my mind just thinks awkwardly. But for now, what if i say, He's NEVER going to be with me and we end up getting married, that's another scary thing. Oh my, see where i'm getting to? my mind's going haywire again, sheesh.
Back in reality, everythings been so hard up, my little bro is constantly pissing me off, and i can't seem to study at home, it's all stressing me out becuase, I WANT TO STUDY, sometime i feel like i need a ciggy or i'll crack. But i remember that Allah s.w.t. gives us challenges, and this is just another challenge, all praises to Allah s.w.t., he's just testing me, pray that i have the strength to go through this. Give me strength to fight off the whispers of the devils. And come to think of it again, some people have to face much more difficulties, so who am i to complain right? sigh.
"Berakit-rakit dahulu, berenang-renang kemudian
Bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian"
currently still at home, enjoying a piece of toast. Ready for school. Prolly be late. I'm just plainly bored. Just realised that Mr Child-Abuse have been calling me silly names, amee dragon, amee brocolli, even small fries? haha, oh well, he's one stinky tomato. Who cares, it's fun playing with silly names. Now i'm a little bruised]: because of your strong hands. haha, oh well, serves me right for punching you. tehee. oh well, i have to go now, i seriously can't be late for school anymore, sheesh. <3
♥ZaraZara, he's a guy. Zara, a sense of great ardour when i'm alongside you. Zara,I'm dead clueless, where are you? If you ever had a star in you. If you ever had a light in you. If you ever had a heart with you to share. I'll be there, to ever be the star in you, to ever be the light in you, to ever share a heart with you. Zara, my silent dream. You are my secret, my silent boy. My hero, the knight in shining armour. Slow and steady wins the race, oh cupid boy, catch Zara for me.
Before the gig(ira, me)
Yesterday was uber super superb power. haha. Met up with Ira at her house, headed to bugis to meet Belle, Syaz and Tedd. The girls then headed to Sungai road,bumped into Insyi, hot hot hot, halfway we decided to meet the guys again, we sat and talk talk talk and Insyi joined us, then headed to beat merchants[: waited and waited and the gig started, the place was claustrophobic man! Simple Notecase and PaddlePop! (Apez, you were suppose to bring teddy-_-)
Thereafter the whole thing was done, headed to this place where everyone sisha-ed. We were like one whole Kampong. Well, The guys passed the sisha(mouth to mouth!). oh well, i can't say i didn't, i did, but only to Belle. Ira oh ira, bad girls(just joking sweetheart-_-) It was exhilirating yesterday. There's other photos, but Haven't get it from my friends yet, once i have, i'll post the photos here[: FUNNY. Such fun but i had to leave early, promised my mum wouldn't be home at 1am. Took the cab with Ira[: reached home 0030, adik asked me to buy him apple pie at MacD's.<3>
go Belle's blog to view some of the photos.♥Belle' blog
♥This is sunflower Belle
♥Sunflower girl, deep inside you, it toils and it turns. It bites you little by little, still, you shall stand strong, please don't break apart sunshine. Fly sunflower girl, you know you can soar better. Breathe sunflower girl, you know it smells pleasant. Believe in yourself sunflower girl, Love is all you need, and a little faith. Have faith in yourself sunflower girl, it's the tiny thing called faith that can make you feel better. Be veracious to yourself, I have faith in you, have faith in yourself and the sun will shine, ever sparkling. Don't cry dear sunflower girl, Let's pray for the best.
Ira, get well soon.
Nj, get well soon.
To add on here, i'm unwell myself, my head's not right, i feel like im in extreme fatigue and i'm lifeless.
Stuck at home with the heat from the afternoon. Off to bed soon, with an unusual craving for chocolates right this instant, with the urge to go down to get some, but i'm just too tired to do so. I feel like lying in bed, and have pleasant and wonderous dreams, just to rid me of this headache. I feel so troubled with the copious amount of studying and revising i have yet to cover. Oh well, i have to rest sometime, i've been studying alot lately, maybe it's time i lay back and enjoy the sun for awhile.
It's been awhile since i enjoyed the sun, why oh why am i so afraid of the sun?
Who i pray for each time i do my daily prayers:Mum- Pray for her to be Happy
Family- pray that we will live in a better environment and be affordable
My friends and I- Pray for us to have the strength to perservere, be the best we can be and work hard for our 'O' Levels.
Shaf- Pray that he doesn't get hurt in skateboarding and that he that he succeeds to learn new tricks, thats what i promised him i'll do.
Belle- Pray that one day her dad will receive a hidayah. That she'll be resiellient to go through all these hardship and lastly, for her to stay happy[:
1730h
Everything has been fulfilling these past few days, all thanks to dear god, Allah. Praying lifted some burden off my back, i feel free, no longer trapped in my own labrinthine ways of modern living. I feel at ease, my mind's cleared and i finally know what to do next- Pray and work hard.
I'm off to the Library to get some tranquility. Do some self-revision and just chill alone[:
-All love, thanks to Allah.