busy keeping up with the fast-paced yesterday, today and tomorrow.
inactive online because of the other wonders of internet
prone to sickness, physically, mentally and virtually.
I don't deny that maybe, i've said something unpleasantly about you, it was all in fits of anger that i can't recall anymore. I can't take back what i said. yes, there's distrust in both of us and it's because of me. I won't deny that it started because of me. yes, i admit that i am to blame. I admit that i'm guilty, i admit that it's heart-wrenching, i admit that i made a mistake, i admit that i'm really confused, i admit that maybe this is not amee. I apologize deeply IRA. It's heartbreaking ira, but i have to reap what i sowed. I'm very deserving of this punishment. I won't put the blame on anyone but myself. I know it wouldn't be the same as before. yes, we invested 3 years, but it was worthwile, somehow[: I'd miss the old times but it's decided and i know the trust is gone, quite sometime ago. I hope you're reading this, just so you know that i know it too. That i'm aware of it myself. It hurts, but i deserve this, i chose to detach myself, even if i want it to be like how it was, i can't right? hehe.I'm sorry that it hurts you too, i know it does, i made you mad. i know you are angry, somehow. i'm sorry, i really am. ILOVEYOU. And just so you know, i have been tired in school because i've been doing late night cryings lately, and i don't really like to tell that i cry. It'd take me about an hour to sleep on most nights. But it'll fade away soon hopefully. Secrets don't make friends, and i know i don't too[:
Sep 9, 2007
♥1:01 AM
Gee. ok, i tried but i simply can't. yeah, well its just me. It amazes me how i've changed. How smart and studious i was and how stupid and lazy i am. The person i am today isn't the person i was. It scares the freakshit out of me. I scares me, alot, too much really. What's going to become of me? A LOSER. but i don't seem to bother about anything anymore. People might think i'm just too quiet(depends on my mood- teen hormones), in fact- too happy, Which i actually am not. But it's insane for me to project it out loud. I fear being labelled as sensitive. Which causes me to be extra-sarcastic during these past years. And whattheheck, i don't care. It makes me better, hell yeah it does. i give up, nop, I GAVE UP, a long time ago. What is the purpose in life again? someone told me that my heart will open one day, i doubt that'll ever happen to me.I can never be who i dreamt to me, i can never be me. People would just forget me, just like my friends did, and soon, i'll be labelled as the anti-social in school, but i don't care, it's better that way. ihateschool. I hate it that i'm stupid, or i'm lazy, but nothing can change me anymore, thats how i feel, pathetically drawn to the deadly sins, and at the verge of utter sadness. They do notice my change, but don't seem to bother much. They know i'm crying, she knew, but didn't bother to talk more. WHY? is she not concerned enough, guess not, nobody ever bothers much about me. Bias, bias, bias teachers. ihateschool, ihatetheworld, ihateme.
Sep 6, 2007
♥6:38 PM
Its hard. real hard. To do everything. nop, can't give up. must try harder. TRY.