busy keeping up with the fast-paced yesterday, today and tomorrow. inactive online because of the other wonders of internet prone to sickness, physically, mentally and virtually.
It's really weird how things work out, maybe that is why in the first place i refuse to allow myself to implant in my head, the meaning: guys+girls=Love. I'm reluctant to believe that at this special phase in life, someone might pass by and be my true half. Then when i trully get myself involed in a state of infatuation, i think again, am i going to love him forever, or better to be a individual for now, because all i can think of is- i would wound up getting all heartaches, or giving him the aches myself. Both would end up shattered in the end. Why not just wait for the best and the last, till that day comes, no one should get hurt.
But then my other consience tell me, this is all experience, or that maybe in a chance, he'll be the guy i'll marry, or something cheesy like that. Maybe even, deep inside, he feels the exact same towards me, and he's the one for me, well that's something scary, because if he is, aren't we too young, and if he isn't then i got it all wrong. Sometimes, my mind just thinks awkwardly. But for now, what if i say, He's NEVER going to be with me and we end up getting married, that's another scary thing. Oh my, see where i'm getting to? my mind's going haywire again, sheesh.
Back in reality, everythings been so hard up, my little bro is constantly pissing me off, and i can't seem to study at home, it's all stressing me out becuase, I WANT TO STUDY, sometime i feel like i need a ciggy or i'll crack. But i remember that Allah s.w.t. gives us challenges, and this is just another challenge, all praises to Allah s.w.t., he's just testing me, pray that i have the strength to go through this. Give me strength to fight off the whispers of the devils. And come to think of it again, some people have to face much more difficulties, so who am i to complain right? sigh.
"Berakit-rakit dahulu, berenang-renang kemudian Bersakit-sakit dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian"